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The weekly meeting of the Group Validation

Il gruppo Validation

Un’esperienza speciale, per tutti, disorientati e operatori, che si ripete ogni settimana.
Sei o sette persone anziane disorientate, che si trovano per lo più nel secondo stadio, un collaboratore e un conduttore. Una stanza, sempre la stessa e un ripetersi di eventi, sempre gli stessi.
Il saluto del presidente; il canto iniziale diretto dal responsabile dei canti; la conversazione su di un tema, con l’aiuto del consigliere; gli esercizi diretti dal responsabile dell’attività; l’aperitivo, offerto dalla padrona di casa …

Non è il ricordo cognitivo quello che fa star well older people who participate disoriented, unable to remember some of the other what happens on a Monday, "but where are we going?" is the most common phrase when we go to the meeting room.
But there is something that is imprinted deeply in their emotional memory, "oh how nice I liked to come here!" Or "I was wrong," "I wish to meet again."

First it is a ritual, full of human warmth. It 's like the grandmother to Sunday lunch.
The repetitive movements are always the same feel strongly into new points of reference (as threatened in dementia).
E’ poi un momento dove si ritrova il piacere di essere qualcuno; ciascuno ha un ruolo (ben studiato su quella persona specifica) e lo svolge a favore degli altri, con tanta soddisfazione.
Non è facile immaginare di cosa sia capace la consigliera quando viene richiesto il suo parere sui grandi argomenti della vita, la saggezza che sempre ne esce! O quanto faccia bene a queste persone tornare a cantare come facevano un tempo, quando “si era tanto stanchi ma sempre contenti” “ cantare apre il cuore!”. E che dire delle parole e del tono del presidente che apre e chiude la riunione.
E ancora si condividono i problemi, si trovano le soluzioni, si costruiscono amicizie, ci si può sfogare, anche piangere.

Carl Rogers sosteneva che il gruppo possiede la capacità di autoguarigione.
Non è inesatto pensarlo anche a proposito del gruppo Validation. Non si guarisce dalla malattia, ma dall’isolamento, dalla tristezza, dalla paura, dalla noia, questo sì.

Non è una passeggiata per il conduttore, che si trova a dover seguire con concentrazione vari pensieri a volte non collegati, a dover cogliere al volo una frase importante, a dar spazio a chi tende a stare in disparte e a contenere gli esuberanti, a ritornare al gruppo le cose più importanti senza mai tralasciare la loro autostima. E’ davvero necessaria una buona formazione di base ed è molto d’aiuto un collaboratore capace. Detto ciò but it can happen to attend meetings which are held with such ease as to leave open-mouthed, where older people act with spontaneity and autonomy. This happens especially after a little 'time, they reap the rewards, you know, an extraordinary experience.

Hemroids Condition_symptoms

PINA an unexpected collapse

When Pina enters school is aware of the disease, adequate, with good manners, intelligent, unfortunately, full of anxiety.

is called after a few weeks after admission because he is nervous and Confabula!
not looking at me while I try gently to speak to her, her gaze wanders away. E 'scared, walking back and forth, speaking without you can even grab a word, it seems certain passages in Latin. I even want her as the technique Validation of breath, like you, walk with her. At one point he says "there is nothing."

With the help of the technique of re-structuring ("Pina there's nothing left?") I get a look. Then again "are nothing ... I have no one ... not any more." E 'desperate, with the look of facial expression gives me a feeling of inevitability as things like whatever you do when the worst happens, then finally set the tension and repeated cries more Sometimes "I do not know." "What can we do? - I say - to go for help? ". She: "Mom, Mom."
When he returns to breathe normally and it seems to be a bit 'better, I leave knowing that I will return in the following days and she tells me with my enormous surprise, "you are so dear, you are very good, it is not easy."

Pina opens slowly speaking of his great pain. The stories of these people are often so strange is that its hard to think of them real. But the point is that in either case the feelings and emotions they express are authentic, it is important to us.

One day he tells me through tears and agitation with a dear friend (I later discovered that it was the sister) had committed suicide years earlier. I had no news about it. What Pina has made good on that day was to speak, albeit with a bit 'of confusion, the enormous guilt that plagued and perhaps that was held in for too long, denying it. A tremendous sense of guilt, deadly, not to have understood the gravity of the situation of this woman who took his own life while she was on vacation. The idea of \u200b\u200bnot being able to save it must have been terrible for her to bear. "I did not realize his despair is left alone ... ... I had made an appointment with a specialist ... but her mother, Mom, help! ".

In the same conversation more tears and more anger for the "bad people" who spoke ill of the woman "as in that film, with the doctor." After some 'confusion of new thoughts are organized, "said she was the mistress of a priest ... they make jokes about that movie ... where a woman falls in love with the doctor." "The Thorn Birds? - I say that assuming the doctor is actually a priest - "yes, yes ... but the jokes kill." How many more

this woman was able to express emotions related to real facts and not, when she felt harassed, neglected, robbed. He was obsessed
by a lady (who actually had the same surname) why he stole the name! As if to denounce the theft of his sense of identity.

How much helpful Validation techniques, such as that of being able to put aside my emotions! It is far easier to deal with a person with a story so compelling and not be overwhelmed. E 'own important is this technique because this is perhaps the only possible way to help. Involvement would be different if we did feel too locked inside.

Pina worse, worse to walk more and do not speak no more. There are still desperate eyes and shortness of breath. In
one of the last opportunities to meet me says "do not know, I do not understand anything any more, maybe waste.

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Bruna la vittima

are called in to a shelter difficult.

Before me there's a tiny lady, looking very frightened, surrounded by children, the nurse, social worker and an assistant a bit 'on the sidelines. I was told quickly that they are all worried because she has major heart problems for which all this fear, anxiety, all this ill are dangerous. She absolutely does not want to be here. The various people around, very gently, trying to make her understand that there will be all right, that will be taken care of, that need help and street saying.

Mrs. Brown, who earlier had also had a moment of aggression, is now silent, their eyes puffy and takes off his coat and hat. As yet I only see (the face deeply sad, the anxiety takes over) is addressed to a minor child and stroking with all possible sweetness and tears begged him to bring her home.
Those poor children were so bad that they thought more than once to really bring it home. With all the work they had done in recent years to manage it was unthinkable!
arrives at this point also a doctor, to monitor the situation appropriately named heart and which also fills kindness of this patient much in need. Slowly the lady calmly.

I therefore insert in this difficult situation by asking what the anxiety, I am interested in her and the emotions he feels without feeling the need to convince her that there will be all right. My priority is to "listen" to make it feel free to express first of all, not smothered by events. I tell myself that I would feel for him so ... the liberty of crying and despair. The eyes of the others were a bit 'surprised at my behavior, but this is normal.

So the little lady began to feel around him a less hostile environment, more in tune with what you try, is in me someone who does not smile at all, not trying to calm her down, even someone who looks at its very sad. Someone who understands and will enter empathetically into her emotion. After hours

able to take off her coat.

I have met many times Bruna, validating the various reasons why she wept, tolerating with the help of his colleagues insisted. It was just a pity his behavioral disorder. These patients are, however, but of the accusers have a vision of things as those who suffer injustice. Now it was the roommate that he had a spite, now that my fingers were hurt, now they had stolen the bottle of water, now they said a bad word. The need was always able to speak, cry, be compatible (to find someone you feel compassion).

What really is difficult, in my opinion, is to learn to give way to emotion of the other, whatever it is, without thinking that we need to resolve the situation . Look for a solution because we work very hard emotionally and alienates us from the dire need that the other has to be heard. It is not wrong if you do not do this, but greatly enhances the mood in any one of us if you feel heard and understood first.

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Alda e la sua ansia

When you return to work after a delicious break for the arrival of my second child, I am immediately informed of the difficulties in dealing with Ms Alda.

to multi suffers from a dementia syndrome. This is sending a deep anguish, something very painful, characterized by sadness with moments of agitation and others. A wonderful person, very addictive.

I immediately started to take care of her.

The personnel department is often attacked by a frustrating feeling, and although the preparation and sensitivity, a sense of helplessness. I also feel like that when he looks at me with eyes that ask for help while his verbal communication is often jammed says "Chain, chain, chain." Sometimes we wondered, con legittima curiosità, che cosa significasse quella “catena”. Ancora oggi, dopo anni di Validation individuale e di gruppo, non lo sappiamo. Ma questo non ci riguarda, noi non abbiamo il compito di indagare o psicanalizzare la sig.ra Alda. Abbiamo invece il compito di accompagnarla nella sua malattia accogliendo ciò che ha da dire.

Come quella volta in cui mi diceva disperata che non aveva perdonato la mamma che l’aveva abbandonata da piccola ed ora non era più in tempo! La vedeva ad un cancello mentre le chiedeva perdono! Una immagine vivida, forte, tecnicamente un delirio. Si sentiva morire di disperazione per non averle concesso quel perdono, per essere stata tanto arrabbiata con lei. Ho sfiorato the tears that time.

Validation taught me to participate in the emotion with emotion, not to be afraid. I could well afford it because I learned not to make me care of the patient, not to (with) merge with him, but to listen! The warmth of the emotions and feelings of guilt Alda, both good and fragile, so that 'they have at least alleviated. When finished, saying: "You are always my chain" I was sure to be her was helpful and I felt I had done what was possible.

could not be used to Alda therapy orientation, were confused and painful emotions that overflowed. Only by listening validating could in turn reduce its anxiety.

Alda went through with the constant support of the wonderful and loving daughter, many moments of great awareness of the disease - for a long time everything went well and now looks like they are stupid "- others fear, panic, reliving the first episode ischemic, and some of serenity even managing to be humorous - "passed your colleague who looks like a volcano," referring to a person is really full of life-coming little by little to no longer be able to make themselves understood.

validated, however the emotions that I could capture the expressions and one of the last times was able to tell me: "you made me a chain very nice! Now there are only

her smiles, rare but still present.