The elegance of Maria and Sergio Un giorno mi ha detto: “Perdere la memoria è come perdere se stessi, i ricordi, gli affetti, la vita! Meglio morire!”
Settembre 2007
Ci incontriamo con costanza due volte alla settimana da mesi ormai. Lei mi aspetta, anche se non lo sa, chiusa nella sua solitudine e piena di confusione. Non appena mi vede, un sorriso. Poi via con un soliloquio nel quale raramente riesco ad inserirmi. E’ indaffarata a cercare pensieri nella sua mente e cose nella sua camera. Che cosa cerca ora in un cassetto ora nell’armadio ora nella borsa? Un foglietto scritto poco prima per ricordare …
Si prende in giro per questi scherzi che le fa la memoria e tenta di sopravvivere, capace come è ancora di autocontrollo and irony.
E 'in the first phase according to Feil, that of consciousness, the tension and accusations. Already, the accusations. Angry with those who have stolen a Rolex that he never had. He says he is forced to hide the pencil box, once full of pens, because they steal them to him. He argues that this place is a shame because the money disappear!
Naomi Feil explains that these elders are expressed through symbols. One might say that this is so. The Rolex around which triggers the delusion of robbery seems to say the discomfort of those who feel robbed of their time, valuable. Mary is a lady, the kind of old, cultured and refined. And what about the pen in the pencil, instrument of a past life to make the secretary of an important doctor! Dementia is the robbing of even this wonderful memory, his work so much, loved so much.
is held for hours by writing a list of errands to run and accused the institution to keep a prisoner, not to let it go. And yet
says "what a waste these places full of corridors where the old are lost! But who builds them? "Blame the architect, not his inability to navigate.
's still so beautiful with her ninety years, always neat, elegant, perfect, a real lady. There is a danger that mistakes in matching the colors of the suit with the shoes. He never forgets i suoi “addobbi” come li chiama lei, collane preziose e orecchini. Passa ore a preparasi.
Mi dice che sono “garbata” perché le do del lei... e poi “via quei jeans che portate voi donne oggi, che obbrobrio!”
C’erano stati diffidenza e distacco inizialmente, ma poi la fiducia, creata attraverso il rapporto empatico, ha sostituito le difese.
Gradisce la relazione sincera e autentica delle nostre chiacchierate validation, fatta di condivisione invece che di ragionamento, bugia o diversione, e gradisce chi le può dedicare anche solo pochi minuti, ma tutti per lei. Desidera andare al bar e sedersi come faceva con le sue amiche a bere qualcosa. Non è sempre facile, è so repetitive, and its short-term memory is impaired. He can ask the same thing a few seconds away. Sometimes seeing this and feeling heartbroken for this. However, I am happy to be able to give these small but valuable space, made of respect and understanding. They are right too.
June 2010 Arrival in the room, everything is dark and she is lying down and dozing with leaning on a bathrobe. Lately, I always find it. Do not get up, does not feel ... There's a smell, it is clear that there is no time to let her do, not better care of themselves. I agree with the choice of doctors to place it in a core most appropriate.
The greeting I do a little 'light, she tells me that the light bothers her ... help her to sit down to talk to her face. The expression is lost, like someone who does not understand who I am and what I want. I tell her that I sometimes come to you for a chat ... I do not remember.
I read in his eyes the sadness, confusion. Talk to the parents as if there are still (so it seems to me moved to the past tense), but then adds, "are likely to be dead" ... can not remember if he had brothers ... admits to having memory problems. We talk about the fact that hardly ever gets up and says that on the other hand no one comes to pick her up. I know that's not true but there is no need to contradict it. He senses
, surprise, which will move to another place. I was going to tell him but I did not know how to do it. I may have heard my discomfort? Sometimes the students I have found to say that the elderly seem to have confused the antennas, to perceive things unsaid. But I've never been in a situation so strong. It still surprises me, saying: "But this thing is already decided?" And I said "I'm afraid it is." She "No I'm afraid it is, I know you!"
His air time is rightly angry with me. Little by little indignant, fight, "this does not sit well with me" "Then call my family" "I can not understand ..." "If it is true that I have been here for many years right ..." It is confusing, says that there is another person in his small room. But it is clear that you do not need to explain that the room will not be this. He's fighting and trying to let her do her share and save this emotion Validation taught me to feel good, self-defense.
